WARNING- Beckham Has Leprosy

I know, I know.  This is my "positive, uplifting blog," but right now I just feel like crying.  I'm at a breaking point.  And I'm posting it because it's real life.

Beckham had a fever Sunday night.  Monday he woke up with little sores on his chin.  I promise they WERE little, but this is what they look like today:

They spread all over his body.  Started on hands and feet, but escalated up his arms, elbows, legs, and knees... even a huge one on his thigh.  By today they are turning into blisters all over; some have already popped.  Called the doc yesterday and sent him some pictures.  He says hand foot mouth disease.

I just need to vent my stresses and then maybe I will feel a little better.

1)  I let Monday stress me a little too much.  I kept Beckham home and simply wrung my hands that taking care of him and being up and about so much was going to send me into labor.  Seriously.  I gotta calm down.  But that day, I really didn't have other options.

2)  My poor mother.  Being on bed rest is stressful, not only for me, but I feel like it is for EVERYONE.  I have an amazing support system, which I am so thankful for, but I can't shake the guilt when the stress piles on to other people.  Basically, it's all up to my mom for the rest of  the week.  I obviously can't ask other moms with little kids to watch my sick child.  Darin has already taken too much extra time off work.  And as timing would have it, this week is Darin's family's stay-cation (lots of fun family activities planned).  But with 19 grandkids ages 7 and under, I can't send my little hand-foot-mouth-leper running into the midst of them!

In enters my mom... bless her soul.  She got back into town Monday afternoon, and the rest of her entire week is suddenly taken up by helping my little family.  She was here yesterday afternoon helping with Bex and she texted me this morning that she has a little blister on her foot!  WHAT?!  Adults aren't supposed to get this virus...

3)  My other boys.  The drama!  Darin and I clearly don't want them to pick up this virus from little bro, so we have been encouraging hand-washing, not sharing drinks or food, not playing with his toys.  Well, we must have gone overboard and freaked them out because here is what I've been dealing with this morning:
"Agh!  Beckham, stay AWAY from me!" (Beckham breaks into tears from utter rejection.)  "Mom, Beckham is on my bed!!!  Ooohhhhh----- he's TOUCHING my book!"  (Corbin breaks into tears because he is now going to get leprosy from Bex touching the book.)  Beckham drops his sippy cup onto the floor at breakfast and no one will pick it up because, "I don't want to wash my hands AGAIN..."
They are really treating him like a leper, and his little heart is broken.  He can't understand why his brothers suddenly don't love him, why they won't play with him, why they always seem mad at him.  That's the part that is killing me the most.  So I'm trying to un-do the fear I must have instilled in them, but it's not working so well.

Thankfully, as I type and wallow in my sorrows, I have little moments that make me break into laughter... such as Parker walking into my room like this:

  "Mom, I'm an Indian."

Many things bring smiles to each day.

And it is so comforting to remember the big picture.  Linda K. Burton said:

Why does the Lord allow suffering and adversity to come to us in this life? Simply put, it is part of the plan for our growth and progress! We “shouted for joy”6 when we knew we would have the opportunity to come to earth to experience mortality. Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught, “Our needed conversions are often achieved more readily by suffering and adversity than by comfort and tranquillity.”

Truth be told, I know that things could be so much worse, and I am GRATEFUL that they aren't!!!  I know it's ok to let the tears fall sometimes, but it's so important to keep the big picture in mind.  To remember the love that my Heavenly Father and Savior have for me.  I know that they are aware of everything I go through.  I know that Christ has descended below ALL THINGS and that He will help me endure these minor little challenges that confront me.  He has helped me through nearly 11 weeks of bed rest, and all the struggles and emotions that have come with it.  I know He will never leave me comfortless.