Happened right in the doc's office yesterday. Yep, I couldn't even hold back the tears until I got to the car. I know, ridiculous, but I am so hormonal and so ready to be done! I think I need to go back and read my positive quotes from a new perspective.
Here was my thinking:
I have felt like the pills I take every 4 hours do more to prevent contractions than the progesterone shots. So, I figured that I would go to the doctor and NOT get a shot but that I would stay on the pills until Sunday, which is 37 weeks (ie "term"). When I stopped the pills with my prior 2 pregnancies, I was in labor within 12 hours and having that baby! So I was pretty much planning on having this baby on Monday, Aug 4.
Here was the reality:
My doc didn't like that idea. What he said made sense, but I was still totally deflated. He said that the shots are shown to work, but wear off in about a week, so if I skipped this last shot, there could be a chance I'd have the baby before Sunday (before 37 weeks), and that he may have to go to NICU (To quote him, 25% of babies born at 36 weeks still need NICU). I guess he doesn't trust the pills to work as well as I do. So I reluctantly gave in, though the tears were forming...
After 13 weeks since being put on bed rest, I thought I was home free! But now I was looking at another entire week of pregnancy. Granted, I have taken myself off of bed rest, but I didn't think through how hard it would be physically! My back hurts all the time and my muscles are NOT used to going up and down stairs so many times a day... plus the fact that I pretty much have zero energy. (When I've gone off bed rest before, I've quickly had a baby and bounced back! Never have I remained pregnant for another week!)
So I got the shot and off I went to set up my appointment. I told the receptionist that I needed my next appointment for Aug 7, and she said, "Oh he will be out of town. How about the 6th?" WHAT?!?! After making it through the worry of having the baby while he was gone all last week, my mind had been at ease that I could have this baby on the 4th and my own doc would be there to deliver him. And now, because I had to get this last dang shot, it is pretty much looking like a stranger will deliver my baby after all. The tears started all over again...
Ok, ok, I know it's not the end of the world. That was yesterday. Today my tears are dried up and I'm gunna be fine. And so is the baby. I'm sure whoever the stranger is will be a competent and kind person. And three or four more days isn't going to kill me. Or I could still possibly deliver before Thursday. Who knows... At this point, anyone's guess is as good as mine as to what will happen. Maybe stopping the pills on Sunday really will make a difference despite the shot; maybe not.
The quote at the top of my blog definitely applies now: "Patience means to ABIDE IN FAITH, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most." I love the "abide in faith" part. Faith is a wonderful sustaining power. And I suppose the Lord knows I still have some growing to do in my days of waiting... (and not just physically growing, hopefully). One day at a time... see what each day brings.
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